Home > Uncategorized > Christ, You Know it Ain’t Easy…

Christ, You Know it Ain’t Easy…

I’d like to get a couple of things off my chest.

First, when I went looking to find a God as I understand Him, this wasn’t how I envisioned it was going to go. Far from it.

I wanted one of those all-purpose deities, ya know what I mean? The anything goes, whatever-I-think-is-right-he-thinks-is-right kind of gods. A god of my own creation and purpose.

I certainly wasn’t looking for a God that was going to call me on my bullshit. I wasn’t looking for a God that had His own agenda that had nothing to do with my own personal agenda that I have held so dear. You know, me, me and what’s that? A little more me please.

Let’s face it. I wasn’t looking for a Savior. I was definitely looking for a Save-me though. Just do the wrinkle your nose thingie or the blink your eye thingie and get me out of whatever horrible situation I happened to be in at the time. Yeah, a Genie kind of  god would suit me just fine.

I kept going this way for a long time. Many years. Decades. Here’s a little insanity for you. It never worked. But I kept trying with this god of my creation. Because I didn’t like my alternatives.

Alternative one. There is no god. Hmmmm, I did try that for a few years in my early 20’s, playing in Baldheaded Jesus (a punk rock band) singing songs about the joys of atheism and the foolishness of organized religion and the oppression of cows.  It just wasn’t me though. I knew there was something more out there. I felt IT even if I couldn’t identify what “IT” was.

Alternative two. Maybe the other guys were right. The ones that I loathed. The ones that I poked fun of. The neanderthals that Ned Flanders led. That’s right. Those guys. The Christians.

I’ve already documented that part of my story elsewhere. The very last thing that I ever wanted to join. I. Was. Now. In. I asked Jesus to be my Lord and Savior sometime in early 2007. After a few lapses of faith (yeah, I’m not perfect) I really ummm, what? gave myself totally to him in January of 2008 and was baptized in June of 2009. I still have lapses in faith, I guess that’s a never ending battle.

Which leads me to today and now. This is not what I expected at all. I thought that all that was going to be required of me is to go to church on Sunday, say a few prayers during the week, not be a jackass to people, smile at strangers and make all sorts of cool new Christian friends to replace all of my heathen ones.  Oh, and read the Bible.

Ahhh, there’s the rub. The stinkin’ Bible. If I’d never read that book I’d be alright. If I had just stayed away from the Word of God I could go on like most every other American male goes on. Not a care in the world except about what my next big purchase was going to be. My next supah vacation. My next illicit affair. Man, did I mention I hate telling on myself? I really do, but I will. I know that in the end it will save me.

It’s not like that for me anymore. The things of this world that held such appeal for me have lost their value. I really, really believe that Jesus is more concerned about the treasures I’m storing in Heaven than the ones I’m storing here on Earth. It says so. In the Bible. It really does.

It also mentions all the things I alluded to in my first post. Those aren’t just cool little things that everyone should try and follow. They are what Jesus Christ said I should be concerned about. It sucks man, I know. I’m the most selfish, egotistical, self-obsessed guy that I know. Just look at that last sentence. See what I mean?

When I post on Twitter or Facebook a verse about the poor or the rich that verse is there because it hit ME smack dab in the face. Jesus Christ is so fricken punk rawk it blows me away. He wasn’t catering to the popular, the rich, the exalted ones of his time. If you want to know my opinion, if Jesus came here today doing all the same things he did back then we would crucify him again.

Look, the last thing I want in this entire world to be is the guy that everybody hates. The guy that says hey, this is wrong. The dude that says what are we really all about. The man who points out that this is not how Christ intended it to be.  If you know me, that’s probably the one thing you know about me. I’m the last guy that God would pick for this.

First off, I’m probably the biggest idiot of all God’s idiots. I’ve been known to lie, cheat, steal, gossip, and otherwise do everything wrong. Over and over again. I don’t know if I have an ounce of moral authority or personal integrity to tell anyone how they should live their lives. I’m constantly battling this.

Second, I’m like supposed to be fun-in-a-box. I’ve always been more of a light hearted, let’s have a good time kind of guy.  We can worry about this stuff some other time. Let’s play some poker or go to a movie and not worry about things. This is God’s country right?

I’ve heard Ed Noble talk about this. How He calls the least likely people to do His work here on Earth. If I didn’t feel called to this I wouldn’t be. Doing. It. But when He is on my heart saying “My precious child, say something. Do something. Be someone who stands up for those that are most dear to me. The oppressed, the poor, the disenfranchised, the lost and homeless. The least of your brothers. You have a big mouth, use it!” yeah, thanks Lord.

Christ, you know it ain’t easy. “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” Those are your words. A totally different situation, but I dig. Help me.

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Categories: Uncategorized
  1. michelle
    September 8, 2009 at 4:04 pm

    Thanks for being real man. God Bless.

  2. September 8, 2009 at 4:18 pm

    Jesus said, “prophets re not accepted in their hometowns.” Luke 4:24

  3. September 10, 2009 at 11:38 pm

    Bub, I’m so excited about this new blog. I’m blown away by how much you’re growing and how the Lord is maturing you and changing your heart. It’s really fun to read, but I have to admit that I’m feeling a little conviction also! This is just so awesome to read though.

    • bub66ohm
      September 11, 2009 at 12:01 pm

      Thanks Brenda, conviction can be a good thing, no? Yeah, God is working miracles over here, even if I’m far from perfect.

  4. September 17, 2009 at 8:30 am

    Bub, I am so enjoying reading your blog (yesm even your old ones), and I must say your honesty is refreshing and your writing gift is awesome. Your old songs are so Godhaunted.

    Keep it up; glad we are getting connected.. You are welcome with our family in Fresno anytime.

    I got a kick of that lime back to your baptism post. St the church I pastor, it’s not unusual to have a colorful word in a baptism testimony.

    • bub66ohm
      September 17, 2009 at 8:39 am

      Thanks so much Dave! It’s really an honor to me that you are checking them out. I’m glad we are getting connected as well and thanks for the hospitality.

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