Home > Uncategorized > Into the Great Wide Open

Into the Great Wide Open

It’s hard to throw the door wide open and jump out not knowing where you’re going to land. It’s in those decisions where I seem to find the most growth in life. Whether it’s been entering relationships, starting bands, giving up addictions, ending relationships, having kids, changing jobs, all of the things that have made me grow are the hardest ones to enact. Change is a bitch.


I was at Adams Avenue Crossing Table Talk on Sunday and it was a discussion that mostly was about transition. For us as a group and for a lot of us as individuals. It wasn’t the official theme of the talk, that was Chapter 5 in The Forgotten Ways. It was definitely the tone of what we were talking about.

I heard us discussing being more inclusive to our members, being a grandparent, how far do I take my ideals into the workplace, the frustration of the process of adoption, the fear of stepping into something deeper and being hurt, Not knowing how to explain ourselves or at least be understood as Christ followers to the people in our lives that aren’t. These are all doors opening with inevitable change on the other side. It was wonderful to listen and maybe develop a deeper intimacy with these people I have been hanging out with the last couple of months. I couldn’t stop thinking of the Real World Motto.  “When people stop being polite…and start being real.” This is becoming MY church.

What’s my door? I guess it would be making the decision that AAC has indeed become my church. Paul brought some bread for us to eat on his new cutting board. He said he’s very big on symbolism. Me too. We were outside together (there was no room at the inn, I mean cafe), with our group, our children, praying,  breaking bread, discussing our lives. Communion. It can’t get any more church than that, can it? Maybe not in the modern context of what we believe church looks like, but in a way that 2000 years ago was probably the norm. It felt right. Again, MY church.

Where’s the decision in that? It’s not as much a decision as an acceptance of what God has put before me and acknowledging it. I think in these times of not decision making but actually just realization of where God’s led me that I feel His presence the most. The realization that He’s actually laid His hand on me or whispered in my ear to get me to where He wants me to be is so faith affirming.

So now what? I’m a member of a church that doesn’t look much like what people think a church should look like. Maybe not even what I think a church should look like. There are things that I crave from Journey that aren’t being filled at AAC. It’s another thing that we discussed on Sunday. Most, but not all of us AACer’s go to another church to fill those needs. I’m not sure what that is to others but for me I crave the worship (singing and praying) that happens at Journey as well as getting to listen to a fantastic teaching pastor like Ed Noble. Let’s face it. I’m a big fan of his and his thoughts on finding a new normal in my relationship with Jesus. What was January’s series about? The Year of Living Dangerously? I’m making my best attempt at doing it!

I guess what I’m trying to get at is that I would pray that God will show us a way that we can fill those things that we are missing at AAC. I want to find all that I’m looking for in Christ at the place that I call my spiritual home. What I really hope is that He shows us in a way that we could never have imagined on our own. The way that He leads us to do church. He’s taken us this far, I don’t think that He will abandon us now.

Categories: Uncategorized
  1. October 7, 2009 at 7:44 am

    Bub – I’m so moved by this and I love the title! I’m not certain I can articulate why it touches me so (just woke up and haven’t had coffee) but it strikes a chord. I think I’m touched by your finding a place that feels like a spiritual home and that you really feel God calling you there.

    I can relate even though I’m feeling called to a different church. For me, right now, that is Journey. JCC took me in after my mom’s death, particularly the prayer ministry with Pamela T. at the helm and now they feel like family. I also love dancing with Pamela’s dance group, even when we just rehearse. But I’m also touched because AAC has amazing people (love the above photo) and I appreciate that I can be included in some of the dialogues, etc.

    I hear you on needing to sing/worship. Why don’t you write some songs for AAC?

    Finally, I remember Ed’s sermon/series “The Year of Living Dangerously” crystal clear. It struck me so much. And it has been quite a year for many of us.

    Listening to your music links later today.

  2. Edna Flow
    October 7, 2009 at 2:09 pm

    I can definitely relate to feeling pushed into this wide open space of “not knowing” what God has in store next. I keep being reminded of Hebrews 11:1 – Now faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see. I am “sure” and “certain” that the great wide open ahead is exactly where God wants us to be.

  3. October 7, 2009 at 10:43 pm

    thanks for the kind words. keep on truckin’ brother.


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