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Get Ready

Cuz things are gonna start popping off. I’m probably a little manic right now (that’s not always a bad thing) but I got’s some ideas. Some big ideas. Big ideas in a humble kind of setting. See, the thing is, I gotta get rid of this ego that eats up all the goodness inside of me. The ego that stops me from laying my life down for the only One that really matters. Sometimes I think my prayer should just be Lord, take everything away from me. Strip me of all my vanity and pretension. My selfishness. My disease of me, me, me. I get close and then I fall back into it.

It? Lust, greed, sarcasm, introspection, gluttony, all the things that let me obsess on myself and my needs. Not the needs of those who I could help. Definitely not what Jesus has intended for me. It’s like reaching out for that brass ring on the merry go round. I can’t quite reach it. I get close. I can almost touch it. My fingers graze it’s cool metal as it’s pulled away. It reminds me of how far I still have to go.

Lent’s been a great reminder of how much a slave I am to the things of this world. I think that I’ve read my Bible like once in the last 12 days. This with me giving up poker, eating out, picking up running and the like.  I’m praying a little more but I’ll be honest I’m not the best at prayer. It’s a struggle for me to stop, shut down my head for a minute and communicate with God. The good thing is that I do feel His hand on my life in so many ways now.

I can see Christ’s hand in real life personal relationships that I have with people. My wife, my friends, the people I work with. I really am a different person 90% of the time. Most of the time without having to think about it. Situations where I used to just blow up I’ve been able to listen and even be compassionate to someone else’s feelings that differ from mine.

Anyway, most of y’all know that I belong to Adams Avenue Crossing. We had a great table talk yesterday that really made me come away inspired.  It started off kinda discouraging, feeling as if we haven’t made much progress. We’ve been waiting to hear from God what He would like for us to do. I don’t think many of us felt that we had heard that much. After listening to TC and Sam all of a sudden I realized that God has been screaming at us and that I (can’t speak for others) was too frightened to listen to what He wants me to do. Because if I listen I’m going to have to sacrifice my precious time. To listen I’m going to have to forge relationships with people I don’t even know yet. To listen means I’m going to have to pick up my cross and follow. To listen means I’m going to have to lay down my life to gain one.

My problem has been thinking that, well, honestly, there isn’t a lot of people looking for help in Normal Heights.  Then TC I believe nailed it on the head for me. If I can’t help people in this area that I’ve decided I want to help what makes me think that I can do it anywhere else. This is EXACTLY where God wants me to be. I’ve got to overcome my own damn self and start reaching out to people. There are people that need help but they might not be able to TELL me that to my face. But what if I put a flyer up in Lestat’s or Cafe Cabaret offering to help people? Mow a lawn, tutor a kid, pick up a yard, give someone a ride, type a resume, there’s all sorts of things I can do to give someone a hand.  To be more than just a ministry of presence but to become a ministry of helping and loving on the people of Normal Heights. What better way of being present that being present in people’s lives.

I know I’m probably the far flung dude in our group.  The thing is, I see people that are peripheral to our group doing great things. I mean Aaron from Hope Unlimited is out feeding the homeless in downtown once a month. How incredible is that? All it takes is one guy with an idea. One person helping one other person. All it takes is just to go ahead and do it. If you are gonna pray for me then pray that I can put down my own crap long enough that I can try to get rolling. That’s what I want. Please pray.

Categories: Uncategorized
  1. May 12, 2011 at 11:21 am

    come back

  1. March 3, 2010 at 8:42 pm

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