Home > Uncategorized > I think I might be back

I think I might be back

Good Lord what happened? One second I was ready to take on the world (or at least Normal Heights) the next I was playing online poker 4 hours a day and not leaving the house. OK. Online poker is over. Just sapping up too much of my time and my creativity. I was really doing God a huge disservice. If you can do that to God.

I really do believe. I do. It’s so hard for me to keep myself away from all the other temptations in this world. Satan finds subtler and subtler ways to keep me from You. I mean doing drugs and drinking and being promiscuous are pretty obvious. Time sucking activities like online poker and Facebook and whatnot are so not as obvious. Sorry Jesus. I really do love You. I really want to live my life dedicated to You.

Quitting the online poker should help. It would be kind of funny if only it wasn’t. As absurd as this sounds, I’m kinda grieving it right now. I need to get back into reading, I don’t know, how about that Bible everyone’s always talking about. I need to get back into, hmmmm…. serving people. That’s a good one. I need to get back my children into my life. I think that they could use me when I’m living sanely.

Anything else? Hey, if you actually read this let me know by leaving a comment. I could use some encouragement. Thanks!

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  1. June 22, 2010 at 6:29 am

    You are so right. The enemy loves to use those things we enjoy to pull us away from Christ.

    We have this cartoonish view of the devil as a giant, red-skinned, pointy-tailed, scary-looking, horned demon. More likely he is something beautiful that makes us WANT to come to him.

    Just look at his tool, sin. We do it, not because we don’t want to, but because we do. Sin is fun, its exciting, it draws us away from Christ because it is something we enjoy.

    I know its hard, its a sacrifice, but great decision, great insight, and great post.

    • bub66ohm
      June 22, 2010 at 7:16 am

      Yeah, I really believe that following Jesus isn’t the easier, softer way. That’s for sure. Love and am inspired by the way you guys are living your lives out for Christ. Thanks for coming by!

  2. Kevin Brangwynne
    June 22, 2010 at 7:10 am

    Awesome Paul…more time serving people / your kids sounds great to me and I believe you’ll be blessed by it! Been trying to back off the computer some myself lately, as I’ve noticed I’ve spent way too much time glued to it during my day and frankly I’ve also got other things to do! Not quitting, just attempting to moderate. Glad I checked Twitter this morning though! Keep up the good work!

    • bub66ohm
      June 22, 2010 at 7:13 am

      Thanks Kevin, you have always been a source of great encouragement for me. You rock dude! Love ya!

  3. Raechel
    June 23, 2010 at 8:17 am

    I felt the same way about Facebook- that’s why I was going to delete my account awhile back- but then I narrowed it down to the bigger problem being Bejeweled- I think playing it ramped up the dopamine in my system or something and I got addicted to it. I quit cold turkey on April 1st. It seems silly- but I miss playing it. What I don’t miss, however, are all those hours tied up doing something so vacuous, missing out on playing more with my kids, sitting with myself in silence and being present (that can be a really hard thing for me to do sometimes) I have read 5 books, lost ~7 pounds, can now run on the treadmill for 5 minutes straight in intervals (that’s HUGE btw) and the laundry is done more often than not. Good stuff. Real life, make yourself a better mom-wife-sister-friend-etc. kind of stuff. Nothing but good can come from this Paul- Take Care!

  4. bub66ohm
    June 23, 2010 at 9:29 am

    Wow Raechel, I’m really proud of you for just doing it! I’m glad to hear it, I need some inspiration. Thanks for dropping by too, you are so rad! LOL

  5. Todd
    June 23, 2010 at 1:17 pm

    Welcome back, Bub. Proud of you bro!

  6. July 3, 2010 at 10:37 pm

    you are back! i feel better already.

    Thanks once again for your gift of honesty. Jesus has a had a tough time finding honest saints lately

  7. August 16, 2010 at 9:05 am

    how’s it going?

  8. sandy
    April 2, 2011 at 8:26 pm

    Hi. Same struggle w/computer games. Didn’t play for over a year. Even fasted for 40 days to break the cycle. Solution: Canality vs.Spirituality. Christ says those that God has given him will never be plucked out of his hand. The question? Are you really one of His or you a superficial follower like Judas. He was with Christ for the same amount of time as the other disciples and he managed the money purse. However, b/c of his love for money, he ended up betraying Christ for the silver. He never was a true follower. He never had a true relationship with Christ. Many will come to Him and say: Lord, we healed in Your Name, we prophesied in Your Name…” But the Lord will say to them: “Depart from Me, I never knew you…”. Following Christ is an everyday commitment to discipline your free will. Each decision and each choice made is choosing between your will and God’s will. Sure, you can choose to waste your time with the online poker. But if you’re truly to follow Christ, the Holy Spirit will convict you and the source of estrangement from your carnal choice will be painful. It really does grieve God’s heart. How can you overcome the struggle? Give it to the Lord and ask for the power of the Holy Spirit to help you overcome. “He who puts his hand to the plow and looketh back is not fit for the Kingdom of God”. “As a dog returns to his vomit, so a fool repeats his folly”. I believe that you are saved and that the Holy Spirit is convicting you – because you’re sensitive to your sin (online gambling) and you don’t like returning to the vomit of it all when you keep going back. Carnal choices are truly a source of pain for both God and the sinner. Wouldn’t you rather God say, “Well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.”? You can’t blame Satan for everything. I don’t think that Judas is going to stand before God and say “the Devil made me do it (betray Christ)”. This is not fun and games. We have to make volitional choices each day – not emotional choices.
    If you want to continue living carnally – your sin will bind you and take control over you again. There will be a lack of rewards for you in Heaven. You will see that as you start following after Christ there will be a peace that passes all understanding and then you will start desiring that more than the wall between you and God (strain in the relationship). Hope this helps. I just prayed for you. I’m sure you will be one of those I meet in heaven. God Bless

  9. September 14, 2013 at 6:05 pm

    come back!

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